Purpose, Fear, and the 1,000-Word Exercise That Can Change Your Future
I used to train at my local gym for two hours a day. I had ambitious goals, was driven by the competitive environment, and felt satisfied with the progress I’d make each day towards getting stronger, faster and more fit. After having our daughter in July, life changed in ways that demanded I make adjustments to these fitness goals. I went from training independently, to training in group classes – from two plus hours in the gym five days a week – to one as often as I can make it.
Nowadays, I quite like taking a group fitness class at my local CrossFit gym. The competition level is virtually nonexistent, it’s just about self improvement. There’s less ego, more enjoyment. The gym, and these classes, is a great equalizer – no matter how wealthy or healthy you are, you’re still getting pushed to challenge yourself.
I see the same equalization occurring in my coaching and consulting with business professionals and entrepreneurs. No matter how successful one is, it seems like the questions around purpose, meaning, and fulfillment in one’s life always bubble to the surface. In today’s OPB, I’ll be outlining one of the best tools I use to help my clients gain clarity around what’s keeping them stuck, what they want in their life, and how to be sure their fears of living a life without purpose will never come true.
Consider this week’s edition to be a bit like my version of a fitness class – everyone can do it – and the gains you experience are up to you and what you put into it.
Jordan Peterson, psychologist and controversial public figure, often referred to an apocryphal study on rats to convey a message on motivation. You can read more about the supposed study here, but the underlying concept is something I’ve borrowed from to create the following four prompts for my clients to outline their lives.
Again, it’s unclear if this study actually occurred, but the overall premise is that rats who are motivated by a reward (cheese) and rats who are motivated by a fear (cat pheromone) move less quickly toward or away from these triggers than rats who have both a reward and a threat in place.
If you’re someone who feels stuck in their career, feels too settled and comfortable in the day-to-day to where life is more boring than enjoyable, goes through the motions in their marriage or relationship, is not fit, but not unhealthy either, and who can’t seem to take the leap of faith their heart tells them they should…well...this is where this week’s exercise begins:
Defining “The Cheese”
Write 250 words defining what it is that your ideal future self would feel, think, and do. This can be on a time horizon of your choice, but often I find that 5 years is enough time to dream big, while also remaining grounded in practicalities. When developing this narrative, I’d encourage you to hit on how you will show up in all your major roles ie: brother, son, father, partner, friend – even think about how you’ll show up for yourself. Use AI to help augment your writing if you wish – some of my clients have found AI to be helpful as a writing partner who can prompt you further.
Pro Tip from a Client: one of my clients said that they were tempted to return to the draft after completing it, but resisted to do so in an effort to keep it as raw and real as possible. I’d encourage you to do the same.
Defining “The Status Quo”
Using the same time domain that you chose from the above (ie: 5 years) write 250 words defining what life would look like for you if nothing changed and everything stayed on course. Same job, same habits, same level of engagement in your relationships – everything was as it is.
As with the above pro tip, try and have your first draft be your guiding document. The less touch ups the better.
Defining “The Cat”
Continuing to use the timeline from above, now define what life would look like if everything became precipitously worse. The Stoics would call this negative visualization as we intentionally think about worst-case scenarios your brain makes up – in other words, intentionally catastrophizing. You can read more about catastrophizing here.
In effect, what you're writing here is the version of your life that you would want to be running away from.
Defining “The Map”
For many of us, myself included, we’re conditioned by a way of thinking that idealizes validation and accomplishment. The lessons that we all likely learned as children centered around giving your best effort to achieve some sort of outcome – good grades, rewards, accolades, parental praise, or career opportunities. This chase for success and validation from the external environment became what I call “the map” on how we guided ourselves through life.
However, there comes a point where this map no longer serves us in the new direction we’ve outlined above. If you aspire to change your life and take the leaps of faith necessary to feel fulfilled and driven by meaning, then you’re going to need a new map.
Take 250 words to define the map you’re currently using (ie: a map of validation) as well as the new map you’re going to need to get to where you’re wanting to go. Perhaps the new map is placing higher value on impact, honesty, wisdom, or peace. Whatever it is, define how this will show up practically in the future.
What will you do when life asks you to choose the comfort of the familiar rather than experience the rewards of shaping your new life’s story?
The importance of this step is that you feel connected to the notion that your new self will be playing by new rules – charting a new course – and thereby, in need of a new way of playing the game of life – a new map to guide you in your growth.
At the end of this exercise, you will have created a 1000 word personal constitution for how you want your life to look and precisely how not to live. You will know what it is to visualize a future worth pursuing, and in some instances, will be saddened by learning that “the status quo” may be worse than “the cat”. You will have defined the map that you’re currently using to live your life, and will have articulated a new map, one that can shape and guide you toward your destination.
If you’re ever lost or uncertain as you pursue the building of your future self – if you’re ever anxious of what the future may have in store for you – return to this document and remember the scariest outcomes are usually the ones that require no risk at all.
If you want help working through this exercise, or want feedback on your 1000 word constitution, simply respond to this email and I'd be happy to chat!
Thanks for reading as always and if this resonates with you, forward this edition to a friend!
Time to win the week 🏆
See you next week :)
– J
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