Blind Spots, Self-Awareness, and a Window You Need to See
While self-reflection isn’t always required for change, becoming more self-aware is almost always the first step towards behavior change. As a coach, clinical supervisor, graduate level professor and clinician, I’ve had plenty of chances to provide folks feedback on things that they may or may not have known about themselves in an effort to guide them towards becoming a better version of themselves. In my own life, I’ve had similar experiences with mentors, teachers, supervisors, colleagues and superiors.
This week, I’ll briefly introduce a psychological principle that might change how you think about yourself and how others see you. If you’re in the business of self improvement, you’re going to want to know this model. It’s called the Johari Window:
Let’s break down how to interpret this grid. I’ll use me, and what I know about me, as an example to make this come alive.
Upper Left (Known to Others/Known to Self):
This is the part of you that you feel “open” to sharing and revealing to the world. It’s the side that people know you by or as. People who know me have often shared that they view me as “disciplined” or “responsible” and I know these things about myself. I take pride in staying consistent on things and have no issues taking on new responsibilities.
Bottom Left (Not Known to Others/Know to Self):
Some might refer to this as the “shadow self” or the part of yourself that you don’t reveal, but that you know exists. As a therapeutic exercise, I’m happy to reveal a part of myself to this audience in an attempt to inspire you all to do the same. Few people know about my fear of being embarrassed. As a child, specifically in middle school and high school, it wasn’t easy for me to feel comfortable raising my hand in class, I was easily teased, and had trouble showing or receiving interest in girls. In all cases, I would get flush in the face, and would often be labeled as quiet when really I was just protecting myself by being cautious.
There’s more to the story here, and of course knowing this about myself is important to understanding how it shapes my behavior today, but the larger point is to bring your attention to this specific quadrant if you're seeking personal growth and development. This is where working with a therapist or at the very least, journaling, can prove helpful.
Top Right (Not Known to Self/Known to Others):
This one is where feedback comes into play. Because people work with you, live with you, have been friends with you, or colleagues with you, they see you in ways that you simply cannot know. You have a blind spot for how you show up, and tapping into feedback from those closest to you can be helpful to turn this blind spot into an “open space” if they are willing to share.
Stay tuned, because this week’s mission has everything to do with this part of the grid.
Bottom Right (Not Known to Self/Not Known to Others):
We all have things we do not know about ourselves, nor do others. The call here is simple. The more we work on the development of ourselves, the more likely we are to understand and unearth more “shadow” areas – thereby turning the unknown to the known, even if it is only known to you. These revealing moments will often coincide with new interactions and relationships, which inherently may reveal things about us to those around us before we know about them – thereby developing a blind spot. In either case, a move to revealing more "hidden areas" or "blind spots" is a move in the right direction, as at least it enters the known to some degree.
This week’s call to action is targeting the “blind spot” – you can accomplish this task quite easily:
- Reply to this email with one thing you think I might not know about myself given what you know about me.
Or...
- You can ask someone close to you to provide you feedback about something they see that they think you don't already know about yourself.
By seeking feedback in this way, you turn ‘blind spots’ into ‘open areas’ and generate the kind of self-awareness that helps you keep growing and evolving – flaws and all.
Want to learn more about how to use the Johari Window in your leadership role(s)? Read more here.
Want to get feedback from a trusted team of licensed therapists and high performing coaches, let's work together.
Thanks for reading as always.
Time to win the week 🏆
See you next week :)
– J
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